A Monthly Column written by Kelly Livingstone, founder of atruckerswife.com, and
published in Truck News Magazine. Do NOT copy without permission.
September 2005
Dear Kelly,
I am having a really hard time with my boys lately. Maybe it’s just the summer
heat, but they have been almost uncontrollable when my husband isn’t home. They
are eleven and thirteen. My husband has been driving since they were two and
four, so it isn’t like this is anything new to them. I have been timing them out
in their bedrooms, making them do extra chores and I took them to the bookstore
and let them each buy a couple of new books hoping that would keep them busy.
They are constantly on each other all the time too. They nag each other and bug
each other until it’s almost a full blown fight. As soon as their Dad gets home,
they are angels, so he thinks I am crazy! Well, not really, but he can’t seem to
understand how they can be so different when he isn’t home. He had a talk with
them, and he told me that they said they would behave better, but it isn’t
happening.
I am at my wit’s end and don’t know what else to do. My husband is out for 2
weeks at a time, and that is a long while to be pulling my hair out. I am not
sure if this is something age related, but the fact that they are so good when
their Dad is home has me baffled. 11+13=1Crazy Mom
Dear 11+13=1Crazy Mom,
Well, I am not a professional, just a regular mom/trucker’s wife/woman, but I
would think that the sibling rivalry is somewhat of a normal, if not expected
happening in most families. The ages of your boys also indicates a time in their
lives where they are experiencing changes and trying to find their place. I
wouldn’t take it as a personal attack. Perhaps they are well behaved when your
husband is home because they do not want to disappoint him. They may be looking
for that male acceptance and approval. I see this in my boys already and they
are quite a bit younger.
Some one on one time with you may help. If one son is out at a friend’s house or
has a friend over, do something with the other son. On the flip side of that,
something that the three of you can do together, like going to a movie(you sit
in the middle) might help. How about trying a project that you can all work on?
Build a picnic table, or paint a room in the house. Do something that they can
say, “We did that!” for years to come.
I don’t think the teenage years are really easy for anyone, and having Dad away
can’t make it any easier. I hope that quality time, love and lots of patience
can help turn this time into a wonderful and memorable experience in your lives.
Kelly
Dear Kelly,
My husband has put on a few pounds since heading out on the road. He’s been
driving for only two years so far and I am afraid that if he keeps it up, he’ll
be huge in a few years. Do you have any suggestions for lightweight snacks and
food that he can eat on the road? I am afraid that all that truckstop eating is
not good for him.
I hope to get him a fridge soon, but for now, he only has a cooler and picks up
ice at the truckstops. Hubbie’s getting a belly
Dear Hubbie’s getting a belly,
Yes! I can understand this one! I started sending a lot of cut of veggies with
my husband. I prepare all that I can at home so it is easy for him to munch on.
I send mini carrots, celery sticks and peel and cut up cucumbers. Other ideas
could be mushroom pieces, cauliflower, broccoli and just about any other
vegetable that he will eat raw. Fruit is easy to grab and eat without much more
than cleaning. A few low fat crackers, cheese, healthy cereals (eaten dry or in
a bowl with milk), granola bars, cereal bars and yogurt are a few more things.
I would highly recommend a way for him to heat foods in the truck as well if you
can. You can find cooler/warmers that plug into a cigarette lighter for a
reasonable price. You could then send a lot of homemade meal plates. Make extra
when you prepare meals at home while he is away and freeze the meals on plates,
ready for him to heat and eat. Hearty soups and stews in a can be a good
alternative, and will be a treat when the weather isn’t so warm.
Another suggestion for him; if he can stop and shop at a grocery store on the
road to stock up, that will save a few pounds and also a few dollars in the long
run!
Kelly
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